Pre Atlantis get together

In ths story I am trying to find John and Rodney meet long before Atlantis is found they have a relationship for years and take turns going to work on secret projects(stargate command and atlantis) but never tell each other what they are doing.  Rodney may have been a teacher of some kind when he is at home.  They accidentially adopted a couple of kids.  I remember something about "the March of the Penguins" like the kids watch it and are traumatized and then one of the guys brings it home and doesnt know.  This may have been a series.  I looked back 300 posts in this community and tried searching ao3 and wraithbait but I cant remember which site it was on or who wrote it.